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{Tuesday, January 09, 2007}

It's not my birthday/It's not today

Except, it totally is! And I didn't bring anyone any damn birthday treats.

So, I've been goaded into updating, because of some party or something. Many of you have gotten invites, but if there's any confusion, here's the info:

My party is at my house. If you don't know where I live, or who to ask for directions, then you're probably not invited. It is at...some time. I forget. In the evening, on Saturday, January 13. We'll have some food and some booze, but if there are special requests, either let me know or bring your own. Be prepared to share.

I fully intended to have a snazzy reproduction of the invite Shirley made, but I didn't remind him to get me the file. Perhaps in a future edit, it will be displayed below.

posted by der kommissar 3:01 PM

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{Tuesday, April 18, 2006}

You know how I know you're gay?

I think I'm being brainwashed into liking Coldplay. Not that I hate them, really, but I don't necessarily care much about them. However, since they've recently been added to the rotation on the work radio, they're sounding mighty good in comparison to some of the other crap they're playing. I'd really love it if I didn't have to hear Maroon 5 ever again, but it seems unlikely.

In other news, I got another internet relay phone call today, and the operator actually addressed me directly. I didn't even have to get mean like our friend Shaft does. Unfortunately, the caller lost their internet connection so I didn't get to help perpetrate any credit card fraud. Perhaps another time, though...

posted by der kommissar 3:55 PM

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{Wednesday, March 22, 2006}

A pig is a filthy animal
or, reason #53 our landlord is a dumbass

So, I goaded Shirley into asking our landlord if we could have a dog. Poor Shirley. Please accept my public apology for making you take that bullet. After hemming and hawing and generally going on and on about completely unrelated shit (as he is wont to do), Landlord said he'd really prefer not, since they can pee on the floor and mess it up. Which could be a valid point, were our floor not already in really crappy condition.

Shirley was nice about it and ended the conversation, but apparently was stopped by Landlord the next day with the suggestion that maybe we should "get a mink." As a pet. Um, okay. And weren't you worried about ruining the apartment? I mean, aside from the fact that minks are not pets but wild animals, and the fact that he maybe meant ferrets, and that they can be kept in cages, they smell absolutely vile. So we can't have a dog, who could be trained to go outside and would generally smell okay most of the time, but we're encouraged to get one of the smelliest animals people voluntarily put in their houses? I give up.

posted by der kommissar 4:49 PM

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{Thursday, March 09, 2006}

I think someone at my music/movie distributor has an interesting sense of humor. Or, they're really, really dumb. I was placing an order today and noticed that the listing of DVDs coming out next Tuesday includes SheSpies, Season 1, which someone at this company has listed under the Horror category. See -- they can be funny, too.

That's all.

posted by der kommissar 11:55 AM

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{Wednesday, March 01, 2006}

Heat is *so* overrated

You know, I thought that maybe when Lord Sweatpants and his litter of awful children moved out last summer, we wouldn't have much left to complain about at our house. Turns out, I was wrong.

Two Saturdays ago, we woke up to a very chilly house. Shirley had to leave for a gaming convention, so I called our landlord and he came right over to fix it. Sounds great, right? Except our landlord's idea of fixing the furnace sort of makes me nervous. Apparently some switch broke and kept the burner from lighting, but he was able to bypass the switch using jumper cables. As if I weren't worried enough by that "solution," he decided that to raise the temperature more quickly, we should turn on the oven, and he also turned on the oven and all four gas burners in the vacant apartment downstairs. Does anyone else remember any PSAs about using your oven to heat your home? I feel like that's a bad idea.

Not as bad, however, as his next brainstorm -- a propane torch! Inside the house! He came and stood in my living room with a gigantic propane tank and blow torch, which he waved in the middle of the room for about 20 minutes to "warm up the air" and keep the furnace from having to work so hard. And he kept turning to talk to me, so the flame would sort of drift to one side while his attention was elsewhere. I nearly wet 'em waiting for him to set something on fire right in front of me, but luck was finally on my side and he didn't manage to burn down his own property.

Then, the furnace died again this past Sunday, and yet again this morning. Luckily no torches were involved this time, because we had to go to work and I didn't really want to leave him alone with open flames...

So, I guess if anyone knows of a large, cute, cheap apartment with functioning furnace (and landlord), you should totally call me.

posted by der kommissar 4:14 PM

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{Friday, December 02, 2005}

Reason No. 512 why I'm a horrible person.

So, the funeral for my co-worker was today, and it was hard, and it sucked. That's not why I'm a horrible person. I am a horrible person because I spent the week being disgusted with the new girl, who has worked here for less than a calendar year (and has spent 1/3 of that time out "sick"). This new, incompetent person has been crying off and on all week about the death of our c0-worker, who she barely knew. She just sits at her desk and cries, and I think she's stupid and doesn't deserve to spend all that time crying over someone she pretty much just met. And that concludes my essay about why I'm going to hell.

The best thing that happened here all week is the new Raveonettes' Christmas carol they play on the Muzak.

posted by der kommissar 3:21 PM

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{Monday, April 04, 2005}

I've been thinking about posting for a long time and have never actually followed through. Today has been sufficiently dumb and bad that it's time to post.

I don't really feel like going into detail about the badness right now. Better for all that I don't waste your time. Here's a little sample, though, of why today is bad: I have a store that I run, and I hired students to work for me. That all went okay, but I wish it was possible to discriminate based on musical taste, being as I sell music. It should be against the law to live in the world and be 18+ years old and NOT KNOW WHO BILLY IDOL IS. I do not care how sheltered you were, it should still be illegal. I had someone updating the music bestsellers charts and our pal Billy has a new album out. My employee wanted to know where she'd find this album, if we had it. Because she didn't have any idea who he is or what genre of music he sings. I am suddenly so tired. I just can't stand it.

Also, how many weird Disney albums is it possible to have in the Top 100? The answer this week is: 3

Unfortunately, I can't count the creepy Kidz Bop stuff, as it's not Disney. I don't know who thought a bunch of seven-year-olds singing "My Boo" was a good idea, but they're even too evil for me.

posted by der kommissar 2:46 PM

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