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{Wednesday, March 01, 2006}

Heat is *so* overrated

You know, I thought that maybe when Lord Sweatpants and his litter of awful children moved out last summer, we wouldn't have much left to complain about at our house. Turns out, I was wrong.

Two Saturdays ago, we woke up to a very chilly house. Shirley had to leave for a gaming convention, so I called our landlord and he came right over to fix it. Sounds great, right? Except our landlord's idea of fixing the furnace sort of makes me nervous. Apparently some switch broke and kept the burner from lighting, but he was able to bypass the switch using jumper cables. As if I weren't worried enough by that "solution," he decided that to raise the temperature more quickly, we should turn on the oven, and he also turned on the oven and all four gas burners in the vacant apartment downstairs. Does anyone else remember any PSAs about using your oven to heat your home? I feel like that's a bad idea.

Not as bad, however, as his next brainstorm -- a propane torch! Inside the house! He came and stood in my living room with a gigantic propane tank and blow torch, which he waved in the middle of the room for about 20 minutes to "warm up the air" and keep the furnace from having to work so hard. And he kept turning to talk to me, so the flame would sort of drift to one side while his attention was elsewhere. I nearly wet 'em waiting for him to set something on fire right in front of me, but luck was finally on my side and he didn't manage to burn down his own property.

Then, the furnace died again this past Sunday, and yet again this morning. Luckily no torches were involved this time, because we had to go to work and I didn't really want to leave him alone with open flames...

So, I guess if anyone knows of a large, cute, cheap apartment with functioning furnace (and landlord), you should totally call me.

posted by der kommissar 4:14 PM

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